


Habits

by chachadreams



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Clubbing, F/M, Gallavich, Gen, Humour, M/M, Multi, Slow Build, Tension, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-05
Updated: 2014-06-19
Packaged: 2018-01-22 00:12:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1568966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chachadreams/pseuds/chachadreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian has just come home after being discharged from the army only to start working in a male strip club. The bartender at the club is a total asshole but he can't seem to get him off his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! So this is my first ever written fan fiction...so I'm really sorry if it's terrible! It is also not beta'd so if my grammar is off I apologize for that too.  
> Please let me know what you guys think of it :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Shameless or any of its characters, I simply play around with them :)

“Ian Gallagher, huh?” the club owner put down the piece of paper he was staring at to give Ian the once over. Ian shifted a little, he felt like he was being evaluated. The man was in his late 50s at least; he had dark greying hair and dark eyes. He was definitely intimidating and carried a certain no bullshit type of attitude. 

“So you're ex-military? Right out of high school. 4 years. Impressive.” the man said raising his eyebrows as he continued to read over Ian’s resume. 

“Yes sir.” Ian opted to not elaborate. He didn’t really like talking about his military days. Not anymore. 

“Seems a little weird don’t ya think? Some soldier coming into a lowly male strip club asking for work…What the fuck are you playing at, kid?” The man’s eyes were burning holes into Ian’s head. Ian didn’t really like to be questioned. When you live with five siblings you get used to flying under the radar. 

“Money is money, sir. Just looking for a way to get by while I figure out what I want to do next.” Ian answered honestly, he couldn’t tell you why he had decided to walk into the male strip club that day, he couldn’t tell you a lot of the reasons behind many of his actions lately. Ever since he had been discharged from the army a couple weeks back he had been feeling out of place. 

He had been wandering around all day looking for work, he found himself right on the borders of Southside Chicago lost in his seemingly endless line of thoughts when he came across The Brassrail and decided to chance it by going in and asking to speak to whoever was in charge. 

“Well…alright. You get a week for training. Then you’re on your own. You’ll start as a bar back just to get into the swing of things then you can try your hand at dancing when the week is up. Long hours, a lot of night shifts. If you can’t handle it, you’re out. Got it?” 

“Yeah sir, I got it, you won’t regret this.” Ian beamed at the gruff man. He was relieved to finally be bringing in a paycheck, he’d only been back for a couple weeks but his army pay wasn’t going to last him forever. 

“No more of this ‘sir’ shit, you can call me Gus, and you can also get to fuckin’ work.” Gus got up from behind his desk. He was shorter than Ian thought, but then again Ian towered over a lot of people. “Doors open in a couple of hours; your first shift starts now. C’mon, I’ll introduce you to the bartender who will be in charge of your training.” 

Ian followed the man out of his office and for the first time really took in the surroundings of his new workplace. The Brassrail wasn’t the classiest of clubs, but it had always seemed to bring in the crowds. There was a stage with a long catwalk at the center of the club with a couple of smaller platforms off to each side of it. There were round tables all around and the lighting was dark and dim. It was the typical strip club ambiance. He’d definitely seen worse in the Southside. 

Gus was leading Ian over to the bar, which was all along the right wall. Ian didn’t really have any experience working behind a bar, but he picked up on things quick so he wasn’t too worried. 

A guy came out from the back carrying a large box; he was clearly getting the bar ready for the night. He was tallish, just under Ian’s height. He had blonde hair and brown eyes. _He’s cute._ Ian thought, cute enough to have him distracted long enough to not notice that Gus halted when he saw the guy and Ian almost ran into the back of him. 

“You got to be kidding me, where the fuck is he?” Gus shouted at the guy angrily. Ian looked back towards Gus; he had gone a little red in the face. 

“Uh, I’m not sure, I came in and he wasn’t here so I thought I’d get started for him.” The guy behind the bar said sheepishly. 

“Late again, as per fucking usual, you tell him when he gets here to get his arrogant ass into my office.” Gus was clearly frustrated with whomever they were talking about. The guy behind the bar just nodded and then looked behind Gus towards Ian.

“Who’s this?” he asked. 

“New guy. Ian, this is Devon. He’s not the bartender, but he’ll have to do for now until the prick decides to show up.” Ian gave Devon a small wave, he was feeling a little awkward about this whole thing. Devon smiled back. 

“Well don’t just keep standing here, get working!” Gus huffed impatiently. “Devon, show him the ropes of the bar for now. I got to get back to my office.” Gus turned on his foot and marched off. 

Devon flipped the table up to let Ian behind the bar. “Gus can get a little intense sometimes.” 

“Yeah I’m starting to get that vibe,” Ian laughed a little. 

“He’s not always this angry…well mostly,” Devon smiled. “So, I’m not the bartender but I can start you off, bar back is pretty simple though, basically you just got to get whatever shit from the back that you’re told to. Wipe down the bar every once and awhile. And that’s about it.” 

“Cool, I can handle that.” 

“Yeah, c’mon you can help me carry up out more bottles from the back and set up the bar,” Devon waved a hand over his shoulder and led Ian to the storage room. 

“So, what’s your story? How’d you end up here in our fine establishment?” Devon asked as he handed Ian a wooden crate.

“No story really, just got back in town actually and gotta start somewhere, right?” Ian thought about mentioning the army, but he wasn’t really in the mood to answer any questions about it. 

“Elusive. I like it.” Devon grinned at him. Ian got the slight impression he might have been flirting with him, but he couldn’t even really be sure if Devon was gay, so he just gave a small smirk back. 

“Well what about you? How did you start working here?” Ian asked, mostly because he wanted to take the subject off of himself. 

“Lived in Northside with asshole parents my whole life, basically forced me into college doing a degree that I didn’t want to do and this seemed like the best way to piss them off after I graduated,” Devon smirked “But I also kindof just like it here. The pay and tips are good, dancing is actually fun, and the guys are all pretty cool.”

Ian nodded and went back to grab another crate. They talked back and forth for a while as they set up the bar. Devon was a cool guy, he definitely didn’t seem stuck up like most rich Northside kids that Ian had met in the past. After they finished setting up the bar Devon showed him around to the locker rooms and introduced him to some of the other guys. They were all nice and welcoming, as well as good looking. Ian would be lying if he had considered that as one of the perks when he stepped into apply. There was one guy, Adam, who was definitely gay and had taken a quick liking to Ian, but he was a little too flamboyant for his taste. He was also way too touchy and that was making Ian uncomfortable. 

Ian had gone back out to the bar, Devon stayed in the locker rooms to get dressed for the stage, and the club was opening in 30 minutes. The bartender hadn’t shown up yet and Ian was starting to get a little anxious. The guy was supposed to have been there hours ago and Ian really didn’t want Gus coming out and taking any anger out on him on his first day. He also didn’t have a clue how to man a whole fucking bar for the night. It seemed to him like the bartender was probably an asshole. 

“Who the fuck are you and why the fuck are you behind my bar.” Said a voice behind him. Yup. Definitely an asshole. 

Ian spun around, startled by the harshness in the apparent bartender’s tone. He was just about to open his mouth to respond but when he stood facing the guy he found himself at a loss for words. _Fuck, this guy is hot._ Ian immediately thought. This could be trouble.


	2. Starry Sky

When Ian first left basic he remembers feeling like he was in a constant state of panic. The uncertainty of the future was agonizing and left him with a permanent pit of dread in his stomach. He had just turned 18 a couple months before and was already hardened and fast matured by days and hours of relentless military training, yet there was still a sense of vulnerability to him. A couple days after being deployed to Afghanistan he had already seen too much. Too much violence. Too much sacrifice. And if he was honest, he couldn’t see the point behind it all. This is when he first doubted his decision to join the US military. 

As his anxiety was beginning to take him over he remembers looking up at the Afghan sky and feeling an odd sense of calm. The sky was covered in stars. Something he hadn’t really seen living all his life in polluted Chicago. It was beautiful, but tragically so. Dark clouds shrouded the light brought on by the stars. Trapping it behind them. But Ian remembers after grueling days out in the field, when he felt the panic taking him over and his vision was beginning to get blotchy he was able to look up and find the light behind the darkness and feel okay again. He never thought he would witness anything else that could give him that sense of peace quite like that starry sky. 

That is, until he was staring into a pair of piercing blue eyes that had that same twinkle trapped behind hardened darkness. 

The man before him was tragically beautiful, just like his starry sky. He had dark hair and pale, almost translucent skin; Ian could practically see his veins. But those two contrasting features only made his eyes more intense. He had harsh ink scrawled across his cracked and bruised knuckles. Ian could only make out one hand with the letters F-U-C-K. A wave of calm washed over Ian and the worry he felt waiting for the bartender suddenly vanished. And not just because he was now clearly standing in front of him. 

“Are you a fuckin’ deaf mute or something?” The man snapped, getting impatient by Ian’s lack of response and hard stare. 

Ian was snapped out of his reverie, or trance, or whatever the fuck that was. He opened his mouth to respond with a baffled look on his face before realizing that he had no words. He was literally rendered speechless by this guy. 

Luckily Devon came out of nowhere to interrupt. 

“Hey, there you are! It’s about time!” Devon shouted exasperated at the bartender.

“Yeah, here I am, and so I’m a little late, big fucking deal.” The bartender turned toward Devon, crossing his arms. The weird deaf mute redhead with the creepy tantalizing gaze temporarily forgotten. 

“A little?! The club opens in like 20 minutes, man. Gus is pretty pissed.” Devon huffed, clearly a little put out by the bartender’s greeting. 

“Geez, would you stop getting your tiny dancer shorts in a fuckin’ twist. I’m here now and who the fuck cares about Gus,” the bartender was now making a show of rolling his eyes, “what I would like to know is why there is some deaf mute Firecrotch hanging out behind my fuckin’ bar.” He looked back towards Ian with a glare. 

That did it. Ian’s thoughts may have temporarily been scattered by this guy but he didn’t let anyone push him around. He was no one’s bitch. 

“I prefer Ian, actually.” Ian finally bit out, glaring right back. 

“I don’t fucking care, actually.” The bartender mocked, a smirk forming on his lips. Ian was mentally smacking himself for letting his eyes linger on them too long before continue his harsh glare. 

“Well okay then…Not that this weirdly tense staring contest isn’t fun to watch and all, but you should really go talk to Gus now” Devon said looking confusedly back and forth between the two men. 

The bartender raised an eyebrow, bit his lip and smirked. The action made Ian’s dick twitch. 

“Alright, alright. I’m going.” He broke his gaze with the redhead and flipped the bar top up to walk out and head towards Gus’s office. Ian couldn’t help but admire the way he walked. With confidence and demeanor. 

“So…looks like your introduction went well…” Devon said to Ian, sarcastically with a laugh. 

“Yeah well. The guy’s a dick.” Ian said letting out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding. 

“He grows on you, don’t worry about it.” Devon said with a smile as he turned to walk off back towards the stage. _Yeah_ , Ian thought looking, nervously in the direction that the bartender had walked off in, _that’s what I’m afraid of_. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Mickey. How kind of you to grace us with your presence on this fine evening.” Gus said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. 

“Yeah yeah, let’s just get this lecture over with so I can get back to my bar.” Mickey said back indignantly, he was really not in the mood for this. 

“You even gonna bother with an explanation this time or should I just assume it’s ‘personal’ or some other bullshit you always feed me.” Gus asked crossing his arms. 

“Family shit.” Mickey answered honestly. He actually hadn’t been intentionally been late to work, but he needed to go deal with Mandy’s fucking douchebag of a boyfriend who had been knocking her around over the past couple weeks. Mickey didn’t care how much bigger the guy was than him, Mandy was the only true family he had since the two of them had moved into their own shitty apartment a couple years back. Him and his brothers weren’t close anymore since they chose to stay in their family house with Terry, their piece of shit father, so he would defend Mandy at all costs. 

“Right. Well you can be sure that this is going to come out of your pay. And you’re running out of strikes, Mickey.” Gus said sternly. 

_Great_ , Mickey thought. He really couldn’t afford to lose this job. Between this and Mandy’s diner job they were barely making enough to pay for rent, food and Mandy’s community college classes. 

“Okay, can I head back to my bar now?” Mickey said impatiently. He was really over this conversation. Nothing annoyed Mickey more than being bitched at. 

“Yeah get out of here, and start training your new bar back, I want him to have this shit down by the end of the week, got it?” 

“Yeah about tha-” Mickey started but was cut off. 

“No Mickey, I don’t want to fucking hear it, you train him. End of discussion.” Gus stated firmly. 

Mickey proceeded to roll his eyes and walked out of the office slamming the door. Fuck training some new guy. He didn’t like the way the kid looked at him. Like he could see right through him, like he wasn’t afraid. Mickey wasn’t used to not being intimidating, it made him feel soft. Mickey clenched his fists just thinking about the stupid Firecrotch with his bright green eyes, milky skin, splash of freckles and broad shoulders an- _Stop_ , Mickey thought. _Don’t go there_. Mickey shook the thoughts from his head. He didn’t need to be getting all lusty all over some kid. 

Mickey had come to terms with his sexuality a couple of years back, right around the time he moved out of his house because he knew if he stayed there with his homophobic father he was just asking for it. It had been so liberating to finally have saved up enough money from runs with his brothers and court mandated jobs to be able to move out with Mandy, away from Terry. He told Mandy he was gay on the first night they moved into their new shitty two-bedroom Southside apartment. She hugged him with tears in her eyes, happy that he was finally free to be who he really was. 

Mickey approached the bar and paused, taking a moment to really admire the view of the redhead. He was still carrying the last of the boxes from the back room. Mickey couldn’t help but appreciate the way his arm muscles flexed as he lifted the crates. The way the redhead’s brow was furrowed in concentration. Mickey’s was beginning to imagine all the other things the redhead could do with those arms when suddenly those bright green eyes looked up and connected with his own. 

Mickey held his stare. Looking at the way the kid’s face seemed to relax as he looked at him, yet look slightly confused. As if he didn’t understand what he was feeling. And Mickey could definitely relate. He didn’t know why but he felt an odd sense of comfort, as he got temporarily lost in the sea of those green eyes. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ian felt the air thicken. His skin started tingling and he didn’t know why. He looked up and noticed that not only was the bartender back but he was staring right at him. Ian linked their eyes together and just relished in the feeling of electricity between them for a moment. Someone had turned on the club’s music but it sounded muffled and far away. As if Ian and this guy were stuck in their own little bubble. 

“So. Looks like I’m stuck training you.” Said the bartender, breaking the silence and bursting their bubble of tension. 

“Lucky me.” Ian stated unenthusiastically. Their inexplicable tension didn’t change the fact that this guy was an asshole. 

“Fuck you,” the bartender rejoined Ian behind the bar, picking up a crate of glasses and placed them down beside him, “you can start by polishing all of these. Enjoy.” 

He held out a cloth for him and Ian reached out to take it, their fingers brushing briefly, and before Ian even had the chance to acknowledge the feeling the bartender drew back his hand quickly as if he’d been burned. Ian pretended not to notice and got to work, now realizing the other knuckles said U-U-P. 

“You know you haven’t even told me your name.” Ian said, acting as if he hadn’t been thinking about what it could be the entire time the bartender was in the office. 

“How about you just call me ‘boss’ or ‘sir’.” He replied with a smirk. 

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen.” Ian said defiantly. 

The bartender let out a small laugh. He looked up and met Ian’s eyes.

“It’s Mickey.” He said finally. 

_Mickey_ , Ian thought, _it suits him. I like it._ Ian couldn’t resist the smile that was playing at his lips 

“Like the Disney cartoon?” Ian asked, smirking. 

“Bite me.” Mickey replied rolling his eyes and turning his back to Ian to pick up a clipboard.

 _Gladly_ , Ian thought before he could stop himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys :) I appreciate all kudos and comments!


	3. Siblings Know Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much to everyone who has read so far! please comment if there's anything I could improve on!

Ian’s shift flew by. He basically spent the entire time going back and forth between the storage room and the bar, busing the tables and stealing glances at Mickey. Ian could’ve sworn he felt Mickey’s eyes watching him too but whenever he looked to meet his gaze he was promptly looking somewhere else. Or barking orders at him. Ian would like to think that by the end of the shift Mickey had warmed up to him. But it was kind of impossible to tell since Mickey didn’t seem like he warmed up to anyone. 

The club closed at 2am. Ian was helping close up the bar when Mickey addressed him with an actual question as opposed to a gruff order. 

“So you like Southside, or what?” He asked casually while pretending to be immersed with what was written on his clipboard. He didn’t even look up at Ian. 

“Uh, yeah, lived there all my life. Except the last 4 years,” Ian answered, and then smirked as he added, “I’m guessing did too, judging by your choice in tattoos. ” 

“Born and raised.” Mickey replied coolly, still not looking up at Ian. 

Ian wanted to know his story. He didn’t know why but he had an overwhelming need to know all he could about the mysterious Southside thug. He was trying to rake his mind for a question to ask him that wouldn’t have Mickey laughing in his face when suddenly someone interrupted his thoughts.

“Ian fucking Gallagher, no way!” A girl, seemingly coming out of nowhere, exclaimed. Ian and Mickey both whipped their heads towards the small girl with dark hair and lots of eyeliner that was now approaching the bar. She was extremely familiar to Ian but he couldn’t remember from where, but she had obviously remembered him.

“The fuck you doin’ here, Mandy,” Mickey asked irritably, “what I tell you about coming by my work.” 

“Well hello to you too, fuckhead,” Mandy huffed at Mickey, “I just finished my shift at the diner and I was just seeing if my brother wanted a walk home, but maybe next time I won’t fucking bother!”

“Would you relax, I didn’t mean it like that, you know how I hate when all the guys in here drool over you, it mak-“ 

“Mandy Milkovich! You went to my high school.” Ian recalled as he interrupted their sibling bickering. 

Mandy turned back to Ian and batted her dark lined eyes at him “Yeah! You totally helped me out in History that one time with Mr. Krawley. I always meant to thank you for that.” She said, smiling suggestively. 

“Ha, yeah I remember that.” Ian said shyly, noting the way Mandy was now looking him up and down. He could feel the heat of a blush creeping up his neck despite his best efforts. 

“Mandy. Let’s fucking go.” Mickey said with an edge. He was glaring at her. 

He flipped the top of the bar and began to walk in the direction of the exit without so much as a glance at Ian. 

“Okay, later Ian.” She said with a big smile, raising her eyebrows at him. 

“Yeah, later.” He replied, not really paying attention, as he was too busy watching Mickey’s retiring figure. 

Mandy ran off to follow Mickey, her dark flipping behind her. Suddenly Mickey turned around and locked eyes with Ian for the first time all shift. 

He stared for a second, an indecipherable look on his face. “Later, Gallagher.” He said finally with a smirk. He turned around, kept walking, and didn’t look back. 

Ian continued to stare. He hadn’t been called Gallagher since he was back in the army. Normally the sound of his last name would make him cringe, but he couldn’t help by enjoy the way it rolled off Mickey’s tongue. 

__________

“Ian! Where the hell have you been? You missed dinner!” Fiona exclaimed as soon as he walked through the door of their cramped Southside home, it was just past 3am. 

She was seated on the couch cuddling with Jimmy. Or Jack. Or whatever. Ian couldn’t keep track anymore. He gave him a nod of acknowledgement. 

“Yeah I, uh, found a job today. Had to start right away.” He answered, hanging his coat up and ruffling his hair. 

“Oh that’s great! Where at?” She asked, smiling at him excitedly. 

Ian debated telling her the truth for a second, but he really didn’t feel like having a lecture about him working in a male strip club. Or making her worry about him anymore than she already had been for the past four years. So he opted to lie. 

“Um, the, uh, 24 hour diner down on 33rd. Bus boy. Night shift.” He said trying to sound convincing since he just made that up on the spot. 

Fiona beamed at him, he felt a little guilty, but it was better this way. “Well that’s something, good for you!” 

“Thanks.” He gave her a small smile then headed towards the stairs. “Anyways, I’m exhausted, night.” 

Both Jack and Fiona said goodnight and he dragged himself up the stairs. He wasn’t actually tired but he figured he should leave the two of them alone. Upstairs was quiet. His siblings Carl, Liam and Debbie were probably all asleep since it was a school night after all. 

He walked as quietly as he could over to his older brother Lip’s old room that he now claimed as his own. Lip had just finished his undergrad last year at MIT and was now a year into getting his PhD in molecular engineering at The University of Chicago. It was April and he had just finished up for the summer. He still came around the house a lot but he was living up in some apartment that he had gotten with his now ex-girlfriend Amanda, even though Ian was pretty sure she paid for most of it. 

She let Lip keep the place after she moved out. Lip had asked Ian if he wanted to move in and take the spare bedroom and Ian had yet to give him an answer. It was Lip’s space and things were still a little awkward between them since he’d gotten back. Lip and him had been best friends but he never had really supported his army dream and was less than pleased when he enlisted right after high school. 

Ian stripped down to his boxers and fell back onto his double bed with a sigh. He was staring up at the ceiling letting his mind wander, willing sleep to come, when he started thinking about Mickey Milkovich. He had heard stories about the Milkovich’s, about how they were all a bunch of hardheaded drug running thugs and convicts. It was well known that they were not to be fucked with. Ian had also heard that they were all white supremacist homophobes, so that was just great. The realization of who Mickey and his family were should have scared Ian and made him want to avoid Mickey, but it just made him that much more curious. 

Ian couldn’t help but think back to tonight and the way Mickey poked his tongue in the side of his cheek as he mixed cocktails with surprising craft. And the way he bit his lip and his hands clenched in frustration when some patron gave him attitude, as if he was trying to restrain himself from punching them in the face. 

Ian sat up and groaned as he felt his blood rushing down south. He had to stop thinking like this. It was a waste of time. 

He flung his sheets off of him and went towards his dresser to put on a shirt and some jogging pants. It was obvious that he wasn’t going to be getting sleep any time soon so he might as well try and run off his sexual frustration. 

He tiptoed down the stairs as quietly as could and tried to avoid all the floorboards that he knew creaked. Fiona and Jack had gone up to bed it seemed. Ian grabbed his grey hoodie and headed out the door into the darkness. 

__________

Mickey was sitting on his couch of his and Mandy’s apartment watching some random TV show and trying to relax when Mandy came strolling over with two beers, wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt. 

“Would you put some fuckin’ pants on? Nobody wants to see that shit.” Mickey said snippily, snatching the beer out of her hand and popping the cap off on the coffee table in front of him. 

Mandy just rolled her eyes, ignored him and sat down beside him. “So. Ian Gallagher, huh? He looked good.” She said conversationally, “Like really really good, I’m talking like model good. Like sexy redheaded Channing Ta-“ 

“Okay okay, you’re horny for Gallagher, I get it.” Mickey cut off angrily. 

The truth was Mickey didn’t like the way that Mandy practically eye fucked Gallagher like some animal in heat. And it wasn’t because she was his sister, it was because he didn’t think he would like anyone looking at the stupid redhead that way. It bothered him. And it bothered him that it bothered him. 

“Geez, what’s the problem? You trying to tell me that you don’t agree?” Mandy asked confused by Mickey’s sudden irritation. Mickey just gave her a look of loathing and turned back to the TV rolling his eyes taking a swig of his beer. 

Mandy frowned at her brother. Then suddenly it dawned on her. “Unless…the problem is that you DO agree! Oh my God you think Ian is sexy!” Mandy exclaimed, bouncing up on the couch now to face Mickey, getting up in his face.

“Jesus Christ, what the fuck are you talkin’ about?” Mickey tried backing away from her and looked at her with a scowl, trying to pretend there wasn’t a sudden pit of nerves in his stomach. 

“Awwww Mick! Do you have a crush on him?!” Mandy asked, practically giddy, “That is just so fucking cute!” 

“You’re fucking deluded.” Mickey snapped, this was a conversation he was definitely not having. He got up to go and grab another beer, and to put some distance between him and Mandy because he was pretty sure he was blushing. Damn his pale skin tone. 

“You so do! Well?! Is he gay? Do you know? Do you want me to help you find out? I totally can try to hit on him for you!” Mandy was now leaning over the back of the couch facing Mickey, talking a mile a minute with a big smile on her face.

Mickey couldn’t help but curse the fact that Mandy knew him so well. She could read him like a fucking book. But this time she was way off. He didn’t like Gallagher. He didn’t even know him. Sure he had admired his…attributes, but that didn’t mean fuck all. 

Mickey was starting to get a headache from Mandy’s questions and from thinking about the redhead. He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut, he was about to tell Mandy to fuck off when there was a knock on the door. 

Mandy abruptly stopped talking and looked at the door with confusion. “Who the fuck is that?” She asked.

Mickey ignored her, walking over to answer the door, although he also didn’t have a clue who it was either.

He opened it and immediately asked, “What the fuck are you doing here?”


	4. Alone

Mickey continued to stare at the guy in front of him, waiting for him to answer his question. He had a mixture of confusion and hurt on his face. It made Mickey want to slam the door in his face. 

“Seriously, Devon. The fuck do you want?” Mickey asked again, impatiently. 

“It’s Tuesday.” Devon replied, as if that was supposed to explain everything.

Mickey rolled his eyes, he didn’t have time for this. Well, he did. But he didn’t care to waste it on stupid shit like this. 

“Either tell me what the fuck you want, or get out of my doorway.” Mickey said, pointing in the direction of the stairs he came up from. 

Devon was getting frustrated now. “I waited for you after your shift, just like I do every Tuesday and you never showed up. I stood there for like two hours, man.” He huffed.

Then Mickey realized. Tuesday was the day that was the slowest at the club. Tuesday was the day when it took him less time to clean up the bar and he got off at an earlier time. It was the day that him and Devon had been meeting up on just after their shifts for months to fuck. 

Mickey let out a sigh once he realized what Devon was talking about. His mind had been all over the place, his mind had been on someone else, and he had totally forgotten. 

Mickey leaned sideways to allow Devon to enter his apartment. “Well you’re here now, so let’s go.” He said casually, without a hint of apology. 

Devon furrowed his brow and opened his mouth in what looked like protest, but then he realized that there was no winning this battle with Mickey. So he simply resigned and walked through the door. 

Mickey shut the door behind him and led him towards his bedroom. He had completely forgotten that Mandy was in the room. 

“Oh. Hey Devon.” She said, turning back on the couch, now uninterested. 

“Hey.” He replied awkwardly back. He looked towards Mickey shyly but Mickey was now just getting irritated with him. His fingers twitched which meant he needed a fucking smoke. 

Him and Devon had met at work, obviously. Mickey was just coming to terms with the fact that he was free of his father’s physical and emotional torment and he would be lying if he didn’t think Devon was good looking. In like a ‘I want to bend him over backwards’ kind of way. None of that cutesy shit. This wasn’t the fucking Notebook or any of that other sappy shit Mandy sometimes made him watch. 

Mickey had caught Devon staring at him on more than one occasion while they were at work. He was always finding reasons to come over to the bar to talk to him and was always covering his ass with Gus when Mickey didn’t show on time. He was a good kid, so Mickey thought fuck it. The next thing he knew they had their little weekly hookup at his place. But that’s all it ever is and could be. 

It was clear that Devon had been slowly pining for more and Mickey wasn’t naïve to that. But he didn’t do romance. Devon was lucky that Mickey was even still fucking him, he never fucked the same guy twice, but he figured since he was free of Terry and all, why not give it a shot. Now Mickey was regretting that decision. 

Mickey grew up somewhere that was always more something of a meth lab than a home. His mother died when he was too young to know any better, but he knows now it was because she wanted to free herself from Terry’s grasp just as badly as he did, but unlike him, she chose a needle to do it. 

He has never known love. The closest he has ever come has been Mandy, but that was mostly derived from him wanting to protect her from that sick bastard that he once called his father. That was it for Mickey, he didn’t believe in anything else. He didn’t know how. 

So as he and Devon went into his room and shut the door, and Devon hastily began to pull Mickey’s shirt off but couldn’t help but feel numb and indifferent. Sure, his dick was getting hard by the way Devon was now trying to seductively trace his tongue along his jawline, but Mickey felt disconnected. Like his body was working physically but he wasn’t checked in emotionally. That was the way it was with Mickey and sex. It was all about being rough, fast and dirty. 

He had enough of Devon trying to get a passionate response out of him and pushed the kid back onto the bed, hard. He undid his belt with one quick motion. Devon’s breath hitched in his throat. 

“Flip.” Mickey demanded impassively. 

Devon did as he was told and began to take off the remainder of his clothes. That was one thing Mickey always liked about him when they fucked. Mickey reached over to his night table to get out his lube and a condom, using his other hand to stroke down his half hard shaft. 

He put leant one knee on the bed and slicked up a finger, bringing it to Devon’s hole. Devon moaned as Mickey stuck one finger in, fast and hard. Twisting it and finger fucking him up until two fingers. Then three. Devon was turning to putty in his hands. 

“Oh yeah, Mickey, right there.” He panted. Mickey rolled his eyes. He hated when he tried to dirty talk with him. 

Mickey had stretched Devon out enough; he put on the condom and aligned his hips with Devon’s entrance and pushed in with force. Devon practically whined. Mickey knew he was being rough, but he didn’t care, Devon was used to it by now.

Mickey screwed his eyes shut as he thrust in and out of Devon and let his mind wander to try to get himself more into it. And then all of a sudden he was seeing red. Orange to be more specific. He was picturing Gallagher. And that’s when he felt it. A spark of something that seemed to awaken his insides slightly. And it really turned him on.

Suddenly he was leaning over Devon, practically on top of him, grunting louder than he had ever had before and he continued to push hard into the guy below him. Devon was now moaning in pure pleasure. 

“Oh God, Mick…I’m gonna…I’m gonn-“ Devon tried to get out. But he was being plowed so hard he could barely think straight, let alone speak. He quickened the pace of his other hands that he was now using to jerk himself off with. 

All of a sudden Devon was coming undone all over Mickey’s sheets. And the best part was, Mickey didn’t even have to touch him. 

Mickey gave a couple more hard thrusts and then fell over the edge as well. He collapsed onto Devon, panting, sweat sheening off of his body. 

He rolled over and laid down beside Devon on his back. Devon turned his head to look at him.

“Wow Mick…I don’t think you’ve ever fucked me like _that_ before. That was….amazing.” Devon breathed. Mickey took a couple of minutes to get his breathing under control when he realized that Devon was still staring at him. He turned his head to meet his gaze and frowned. 

Devon was looking at him with a look of pure lust and desire on his face. Mickey inwardly cringed at the disgusting twinkle that was in Devon’s eyes as he continued to bore his hazel ones into Mickey’s blue ones.

That’s it. He’d had enough. That was enough gay shit for one night.

“Yeah well, that was fun. See you tomorrow at work, I guess.” Mickey said casually, giving Devon the cue to get the fuck out. He lifted himself off the bed, picking up his boxers from the floor and reaching for his pack of smokes and a lighter. 

He lit one up, took a long drag and savored the burn in his lungs, instantly calming him down. 

He looked over to realize Devon was still sprawled naked. In his bed. Still staring. He raised his eyebrows irritably. 

“I was thinking…that maybe I could…I don’t know…stay over. Just this one night?” Devon said shyly, fidgeting with his hands.

No fucking way. Mickey did not do sleepovers. 

“This isn’t some fucking fairytale, Devon, if you’re looking for that faggot ass shit then head down to Boystown and ask one of the old queers for a ride around the block. I’m sure they’d love to have you.” Mickey said harshly. He probably should have felt a little bad. But come the fuck on, Devon knew what this was. 

Devon’s hopeful look fell instantly. He got off the bed in silence and began to pick up his strewn clothes. Mickey was eyeing him suspiciously, praying that he wasn’t going to burst into tears or some shit. 

“Kay…See you tomorrow then.” Devon said with a crack in his voice and a completely defeated on his face. He finished dressing in silence and headed towards Mickey’s bedroom door. He looked back at Mickey, maybe thinking he was going to stop him, but Mickey made sure to keep his eyes fixed on the burning embers of the cigarette in his hand. 

He heard the door click shut. Devon was gone. Mickey let out a long sigh and let his head fall into his hands. When did shit get so complicated?  
__________

Ian was just about to hit the 9-mile mark when he came to a stop. He leant forward, resting his arms on his knees momentarily to catch his breath. 

The sun was beginning to rise. Ian couldn’t help but think it was probably the only beautiful thing he’d ever seen in the Southside. He looked around and took in his surroundings. 

Shit. He’d run pretty far. He actually hadn’t even realized where he was running to, just knew that he wanted to keep going, energy was practically bursting out of him. Standing still was making him anxious. 

Ian looked over towards what seem to be a bunch of old and abandoned buildings. He took off in that direction, not really knowing why since there was a very good chance that he was about to come across some sort of crack den. 

He ran into a dead open field and looked up towards one of the abandoned building’s rooftops. He bet he could get an amazing look at the sunrise from there. He took off into one of the buildings and quickly climbed the stairs two steps at a time.

He was panting and out of breath by the time he reached the top but it was so worth it. The building was so secluded and private, and even though the place was littered with beer cans, hard liquor bottles and what he was pretty sure were bullet marks embedded in the concrete walls, he liked it. It was quiet, and in its own way, peaceful. 

Ian sat down in what was sure to be his new place for when he needed an escape and watched the sun rise over the Chicago skyline. It was breath taking. Ian always had a liking for this kind of shit.

Ian felt a small smile come to his lips, and he wondered if maybe the Milkovich boy liked sunrises.  
__________

Mickey had practically chained smoked through his whole pack in the hour that he’d been alone since Devon left. 

He sat on the fire escape just outside his bedroom window, watching the sunrise as he frustratingly commended himself on another sleepless night. Wasn’t the first and would definitely not be the last. 

Mickey stared directly into the sun defiantly, noting the tinges of fire orange, reminding him for what seemed like the 500th time about Firecrotch. He just met the guy and he was already sick of him. It was like he was on a nonstop thought cycle in Mickey’s head. He could find something of him in everything. It was fucking annoying. 

Mickey smacked the bars in front of him and picked himself up and back through his window. He dragged his hand over his face tiredly and got fully dressed. 

He made his way out to the kitchen and saw that Mandy was already sitting at their small wooden kitchen table drinking her coffee and playing with her phone.

“Mornin’” She said, eyeing him suspiciously. 

“What?” Mickey snapped. He was already sleep deprived and in a mood. He didn’t need more shit.

“So, Devon came flying out of there close to 5am…looking pretty upset…” Mandy was trying to tread carefully. 

“And? What are you, his fucking babysitter?” Mickey bit out, he went over to the coffee pot to pour himself a cup. He was gonna need it to get through what he could already tell was going to be a crap day. 

“I’m just saying. He clearly really likes you, Mick. And you’re leading him on. It’s not fair.” Mandy said narrowing her eyes at him. She was never one to back down from him.

“Right. Are we done having girl talk? Or did you wanna go into my room have a pillow fight and paint our nails?” Mickey said bitterly, leaning against the counter top. “Jesus Mandy, if you want to talk about this fucking shit go get some fucking girl friends and leave me the fuck alone.” 

Mickey knew he was being harsh, and he had pushed her too far. 

“Listen asshole, I’m just trying to fucking help you! If you don’t smarten the fuck up and stop walking all over people and treating them like shit you’re going to end up real fucking alone!” Mandy yelled angrily getting out of her seat and stomping over to her bedroom on the other side of the apartment. 

She turned back to him just as she reached her door, her cheeks now flushed with anger. “Real. Fucking. _Alone_. Mick.” She reemphasized before slamming it loudly. 

Mickey wasn’t too concerned by her words though. Couldn’t get much lonelier than this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about this one guys, I wanted it so badly to be Ian to walk through Mickey's door but he doesn't know where he lives...yet. ;) 
> 
> I know I'm talking awhile to get to Gallavich but since it's a multi-chap fic I want to take the time to develop the characters individually before I get to them developing together. But it's coming! and soon!
> 
> So please bear with me :) thanks a million for all the kudos and comments, they keep me going! xx


	5. Wouldn't You Like to Know

Ian knew he was smiling, but he couldn’t help it. Mickey pushed open the doors of the Brassrail, almost an hour late of course, and stormed through like he owned the place. And it was really fucking hot. 

He walked over to the bar, took off his coat and tossed it over the bar, revealing just a simple black shirt tee shirt and dark denim jeans. Ian knew he was staring, but whatever.

“Hey.” He said after a few moments, it was clear that Mickey wouldn’t be the one initiating the conversation.

Mickey nodded at him in acknowledgement as he walked behind the bar and immediately grabbed a glass from the pile that Ian was polishing and the bottle of whiskey on the shelf. He poured himself a drink and took it back in one quick swig. 

“You good?” Ian asked curiously, eyeing him warily. 

“Yeah, fucking great, why wouldn’t I be?” Mickey shot back, unconvincingly, as he poured himself a second drink. 

“I don’t know, maybe the fact that you’re taking back that whiskey like it’s water and you’ve just spent a week wandering the desert.” Ian said with a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood that Mickey was clearly in. 

Mickey turned to look at Ian, raising his eyebrows challengingly as he poured himself another one. “Damn Gallagher, thought I was coming to work, not AA.” 

Ian snorted. “Whatever man, just know I ain’t cleaning up after you after you knock over everyone’s drinks tonight.” 

“Isn’t that your job or some shit?” Mickey asked, smiling now. Ian noted that Mickey didn’t smile often but when he did, it was fucking beautiful. 

“To stand behind you looking over your shoulder?” Ian asked with a smirk, “Nah.”

“Mmmm. Shame.” Ian didn’t think they were talking about his job anymore.

Ian was caught off guard by Mickey’s bold statement, he’s pretty sure his smirk fell right off his face and he felt that he was starting to go red. Mickey was watching Ian’s reaction, his eyes glassy with the effects of alcohol. 

_Could he seriously be gay?_ Ian thought, thinking it too good to be true. There was no way a Milkovich was gay. But Ian chose to keep pressing.

Ian cleared his throat awkwardly and tried to act casual, fixing his gaze on the glasses he was now focused on polishing. “So…seriously man, what’s with the whiskey, everything good?” 

“Sister problems. Women, ya know?” 

_Not really_ , Ian thought. “Yeah totally.” 

“Bitch thinks I owe her somethin’” Mickey said after a couple of moments, now with a slight slur to his words. 

“Like what?” Ian asked daringly 

“Like reasons for why I am the way I am, I guess?” Mickey said, swinging his glass around, eyes half lidded. He was definitely feeling the whiskey. Ian probably should have felt a little bad for taking advantage of the opportunity to learn more about the Milkovich boy, but it was too good to pass up. 

“And why’s that?” He couldn’t resist. 

Mickey paused and stared straight ahead without really looking. It was as he was really considering something, his eyes darkened and glazed over and Ian was practically on the tip of his toes waiting to hear the answer. 

Mickey turned to him finally after what seemed like hours, his face completely blank. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” He deadpanned. 

Ian tried his hardest to stand tall and pretend like he wasn’t fazed by his reply. Because yes, he would really like to know. He was dying to know, actually. He wanted to know what Mickey liked, what he didn’t, his favourite food, how he took his coffee in the morning, if he even liked coffee. All of that. And it was making him crazy. 

Mickey broke through his thought as he slammed his empty glass on the bar counter. “I’m goin’ for a smoke, hurry the fuck up with those glasses would ya?” He threw over his shoulder as he went to walk out the back before Ian had a chance to reply. 

Ian took note that Mickey smokes. He took note of everything that Mickey did and said. He was slowly building up all the things he was learning about Mickey and pilling them together in his mind for safekeeping. 

__________

Mickey welcomed the burn of alcohol in the pit of his stomach, further numbing the frustration he had felt prior to walking into the club. He quickly made his way to the club’s back smoking area and pulled out a much needed cigarette. 

Mandy had practically ignored him all morning, which meant no breakfast. Mickey couldn’t cook for shit and all they had was eggs. He knew she was planning to keep up the cold-shouldering until he gave her some semblance of an apology. Her games pissed him off. So now he was annoyed, sleep deprived _and_ hungry.

All Mickey wanted to do was come into his shift, keep his head down, drink a bottle of whiskey, smoke, and not have to look or talk to anyone. Which of course couldn’t happen because Gallagher was apparently chattier than a 7-year-old schoolgirl. 

As much as Mickey wanted to tell himself that he was annoyed with Gallagher and his incessant need to break the silence, he couldn’t. Maybe it was the alcohol talking but he felt at ease around the kid. He found himself wanting to talk and to answer his questions, which is something Mickey has never felt before. The thought of making conversation made him cringe and want to punch whomever it was straight in the mouth, but with Gallagher he welcomed it, it was easy. Natural. And so totally gay, Mickey thought. He brought his hand up to his mouth to chew on the side of his thumb, a bad habit he couldn’t seem to kick.

When he was with Gallagher he felt oddly at ease, but when he took a step back and thought about what it all meant he couldn’t feel more on edge. 

Mickey was feeling a little lightheaded, he wasn’t sure if it was from the alcohol, the smoke, Gallagher, or a combination of all three. This was going to be a long shift. 

“Hey, Mickey.”

And it just got longer.

Mickey let his hand drop from his mouth and took another drag from his cigarette as he looked over to see Devon had now joined him outside.

“Jesus, you stalkin’ me now?” Mickey asked forcefully. 

“No, I, uh, heard you were out here and was wondering if we could talk…” Devon said, averting his eyes to the ground... _God this kid’s such a pussy sometimes_ , Mickey couldn’t help but note as he rolled his eyes. 

“So talk.” 

“…About us I mean.” 

_Fucking great_. 

__________

Ian was replaying the conversation he had just had with Mickey over in his head.

 _Were we flirting?_ He wondered to himself as he began stocking the bar shelves. _It felt like flirting…but maybe Mickey was just being friendly…_

Ian’s thoughts were interrupted when he saw Devon marching up to the bar, a look of determination on his face. 

“Hey Devon, what’s up?” He asked politely. 

“Not much, man. Hey, have you seen Mickey?” He asked, a weirdly hopeful look in his eyes. 

“Uh, yeah…He went out back for a smoke, but something I can help you with?” Ian asked, curiously. Mostly because he wanted to pry and find out what Devon could want with Mickey. 

“Oh alright, and nah, I just wanted to talk with Mickey. But thanks.” Devon said as he was now walking off in the direction Mickey had gone earlier. 

He felt a frown come over his face and there was a sudden twisting in his stomach. It was like a burning feeling of possessiveness. He knew it was stupid, but he couldn’t help it. He was in serious trouble with this Mickey situation and he had to figure out some way to work around it. And fast. But first, he was going to find out what Devon wants with Mickey. He waited a couple minutes, and then put down the bottles he was stocking to follow Devon out to the smoking area.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry to take so long on this chapter! I'm experiencing some writer's block. But I know the direction I'm going and the next one should be up soon! 
> 
> kudos and comments are much appreciated! xx


	6. Bittersweet

Ian wasn’t sure what he was about to walk into between Devon and Mickey, but he had a feeling it was private. There was something about the look in Devon’s eyes that told him as much. He should probably feel a little bad about interrupting, but he really couldn’t stop himself. 

Ian made his way to the door, fully ready to walk out there and tell Mickey he needed to get back to the bar, when he heard the two of them talking. Ian stopped at the edge of the doorway that led to the barricaded area outside. He wanted to let them finish before he went out there. 

“…Honestly Mickey, I’m just trying to tell you how I feel.” Ian heard Devon saying, desperation in his tone.

“And I’m telling you that I don’t give a fuck about how you feel.” He heard Mickey retort. “This wasn’t part of the deal. You, me, and talking about feelings was never part of our arrangement.”

_What arrangement could that possibly be?_ Ian wondered as he leaned into the wall, continuing his shameless eavesdropping. He was feeling more confused with each passing sentence. Devon and Mickey seemed like two totally different personalities. He’d only been there for two days, but their interactions seemed minimal. In fact, all of Mickey’s interactions with the other employees at the club were minimal. _Maybe they’re talking about some sort of drug deal_ , Ian decided. He’d heard all about the Milkovich’s and their drug running business. 

“You don’t think I know that, Mickey? You think I wanted to feel this way?” Devon’s voice was rising, along with his obvious frustration. 

“Well then, I don’t know, just fucking stop!” Mickey was clearly getting frustrated as well. This definitely had to be some drug deal. 

“Stop what? Falling in love with you?” Devon shouted back.

Okay. Not a drug deal. 

Ian’s mouth fell open. He felt the air leave his lungs in one quick gasp. He thought his hearing must have been playing tricks on him. And if it hadn’t been for Mickey getting shocked into silence as well, Ian would swear he imagined what he just heard.

It was all quickly starting to make sense to Ian. This meant that not only was Devon gay, but their ‘arrangement’, or whatever the hell Mickey wanted to call it, obviously meant they were hooking up. And that meant that Mickey was gay too. 

Ian could swear his vision was beginning to blur. It might have had something to do with the fact that he had forgotten to breathe. He was grateful for the wall he was now leaning on for support. This was a lot to take in. 

_Mickey’s gay_ , Ian had to repeat it to himself, just to make it all seem real, his stomach churning in an anticipative way. _But he’s fucking someone else_. The feeling he had in his stomach quickly dropped like a rock into dread.

It was all very bittersweet.  
__________

Mickey was sure his face was one of utter shock and disbelief. He could feel his mouth drop open, and he had blinked stupidly at least a hundred times in his last minute of silence ever since Devon had said that dreaded four letter word. 

Love. Devon just said he was falling in love with him. With Mickey. What the fuck.

All of Mickey’s muscles immediately tensed up. He felt his entire body contract with discomfort and a heavy guard was coming up fast. He was completely sobered by Devon’s words, as if the whisky he had just drank completely evaporated out of his body. He needed to get the fuck out of here. 

“Fuck.” It was the only response Mickey could spit out. 

“Look, Mickey, I’m not trying to freak you out, I just want you to get where I’m comi-“ Devon started, but Mickey couldn’t hear anymore. He needed Devon to stop. 

“Ju-Just shut the fuck up, Devon!” Mickey snapped. 

Hurt flashed across Devon’s already vulnerable features. He tried to take a step towards Mickey but Mickey put his hand up defensively. He didn’t want Devon anywhere near him. 

“Don’t.” Mickey said. He turned away from Devon and shakily reached for and lit up another cigarette. He needed to get this sour taste out of his mouth. He needed something to do with his hands. And most importantly, he needed Devon to leave him the fuck alone right now. 

“Mickey, I want to talk about this. Can you please _please_ just try to let me in, for once?” Devon asked desperately. 

Mickey aggressively threw down his half smoked cigarette. Devon was obviously not going to let this go. He turned back and locked his eyes with Devon’s. He saw such hopefulness and pleading in his brown eyes and all these emotions that Mickey had never allowed himself to feel. He didn’t know how to react to it. It was all too overwhelming. 

Mickey broke eye contact and practically fled the smoking area, leaving a heartbroken Devon in his wake. He walked right in the door and without paying attention smacked headfirst right into someone.

“What the fuck!” Mickey exclaimed, mostly on instinct. He took a second to rub his now aching forehead and then looked up to see a shell-shocked Gallagher, looking like Mickey just caught him doing something he shouldn’t be.

Mickey stared expectantly at the redhead, waiting for some sort of reaction but Gallagher seemed to have gone mute. He was blushing and he opened his mouth a couple times but nothing was coming out. 

“Jesus Gallagher, quit gaping at me like a fucking dead eyed fish. What’s your problem, man?” Mickey snapped. 

“I, uh, no-nothing.” Ian managed to splutter out. 

“Okay, so then why the fuck are you here?” Mickey asked irritably. 

“What do you mean? I’m totally allowed to stand here. It’s a public area. I’m not here because you’re here if that’s what you’re thinking. I mean I was just coming to find you. I just got here. I have no idea what you were doing or anything.” Ian was talking a million miles an hour. 

Mickey stared at him suspiciously. Gallagher was acting weirder than usual. He wondered briefly if he maybe overheard what had just happened with him and Devon. Mickey didn’t linger on the thought though. He couldn’t deal with Devon _and_ Gallagher getting crazy on him. 

“Were you dipping into the liquor or some shit? You’re acting like a high school girl drunk at her first party.” Mickey bit out. “Get your shit together and get the fuck back behind the bar.” 

“Right. Will do. Just gimme a sec.” Ian sped out. He then turned on his heel and practically speed walked out of Mickey’s sight, towards the break room. 

_What the fuck_ was the only thought Mickey could form as he walked back to the bar, trying to repress the last 10 minutes from his memory.  
__________

Ian was sitting on a bench in the locker room trying to gather his thoughts. He needed to take a second and get it together before going back to try and act normal with Mickey after what he had just learned. 

Mickey’s reaction was probably not what Devon wanted to hear. And Ian felt like a total dick for thinking this, but it made him sort of happy to know that Mickey didn’t appear to feel the same way about Devon as he did about him. 

Just then, Devon walked into the locker room and Ian practically leaped off the bench with guilt, as if the thoughts he was just thinking were written all over his face. 

Devon didn’t even register him though. He had his head down and walked over to his locker, opening it and then smacked his hand against the metal violently. 

“You alright, man?” Ian couldn’t help but ask. He was so going to hell. 

Devon spun around and faced Ian, his eyes looking red rimmed and glassy. Ian shifted nervously under his gaze. 

“You ever feel like you can fix someone? Like if you care hard enough that they’ll suddenly realize this and care back?” Devon suddenly asked, his voice a bit shaky.

“Um…I guess? I mean, I don’t really know…” Ian replied awkwardly. 

“You think that if you let that person treat you like shit and walk all over you that suddenly they’ll wake up and notice that you’re still there and that you’ve _been_ there and they’ll start to love you back.” Devon’s gaze was now fixed on the wall. 

Ian took a moment to process what Devon was saying. For some reason Devon thinking that Mickey needed fixing was making his stomach turn and his face turn into a frown. 

“Sometimes people are so fucked up that they need someone equally as fucked up and broken to be able to level with them.” Ian replied with complete honesty. “That way they can fix each other…be each other’s disasters.” 

Devon looked back at Ian now, looking a little confused.

“Yeah…I guess.” Devon said dejectedly. He shut his locker and walked out of the room. 

Ian stayed there for a bit. Just staring at the ground and thinking of the disaster that was Mickey Milkovich.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the delay, my motivation to write has been a little lacking, but i'm not giving up on this fic! your kudos and comments are what keep me going :) xx


	7. Last Shift

The rest of the week went by fairly quickly. Ian was meant to be done training on the following Monday but Gus had decided to keep him on bar back for an extra week, seeing as Mickey’s training, or lack thereof, wasn’t exactly helping. 

Ian decided not to approach the whole Mickey being gay thing, he thought about it, and even though he wanted to, he couldn’t think of a way to do it. Ian didn’t think asking Mickey straight up ‘so you’re gay?’ would go over too well, and he’d probably end up with his face smashed in. 

Ian was wary of how Devon and Mickey interacted. To everyone else they were probably just acting normal, but Ian couldn’t help but notice that Devon had been pointedly avoiding the bar all week. And Mickey, being Mickey and all, didn’t seem to care one bit. 

Ian would be lying if he said he wasn’t happy about the fact that Mickey and Devon seemed to have ended whatever their arrangement was. He wanted all of Mickey’s attention. 

In the past week they had gotten more familiar with one another. It probably had something to do with Ian constantly shooting questions at Mickey every chance he got, but he couldn’t help wanting to get closer to him. He had realized that Mickey narrowly avoided any questions about his family, Mandy being the only exception, and any sort of questions that may be directed to his sexuality or any sort of clue into his romantic life and whatever he had with Devon. Ian tried his best to steer clear of those topics, despite really wanting to pry. 

The more Ian got closer to Mickey the more he wanted him. He was growing more and more curious about the dark haired boy everyday and if he didn’t satisfy it soon, he was going to implode. He wasn’t exactly subtle about watching Mickey. 

He had unintentionally memorized all of his mannerisms. The way he clenched his tattooed knuckles when he was tense, the way he stuck his tongue in his cheek or rubbed his thumb across his bottom lip without even realizing it as he worked, his smirk, the way he raised his eyebrows challengingly. It was getting ridiculous. 

It was now Saturday and Ian had been working at the club as a bar back for almost two weeks. He was going to start dancing on Monday, since the club was closed on Sundays. Ian was conflicted over how he felt about it. He wanted the chance to make more money but he had also been really enjoying being close and working with Mickey. He hated Sundays. The days he couldn’t see Mickey. He would help around the house hanging with Debbie, Carl and Liam, and he would be full of anxious energy, practically counting down the hours to his Monday shift. 

His Saturday shift, and last one working with Mickey, was coming to an end and Ian was getting mopey about it. He was wiping down the bar while Mickey mixed the last of drinks for a few people ordering before last call. 

“Yo Gallagher your last shift as a bar back is almost done, you should be happy, not fuckin’ pouting.” Mickey said to him when he realized Ian’s frown.

“Ha, yeah, I guess you’re right.” Ian said, trying to perk up a little.

“You going out after?” Mickey asked, pointedly not looking at Ian as he did.

Ian had taken to hanging out with some of the guys after work a couple of days a week. They would all either go to a bar and get drinks or to the clubs that were open late. Ian always asked Mickey to join, but he always declined. At first he thought it might have been because usually Devon is there, but then he didn’t think Mickey had ever accepted any invitations to go out with them. 

“Um, maybe. Not sure yet…Guess I can’t convince you to come?” Ian asked, like he always did. Maybe this time Mickey would say yes.

“Can’t.” He said bluntly. Ian’s stomach dropped a little. 

“Yeah, that’s what you always say.” Ian said, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice. 

“Nah, actually can’t this time. Meeting Mandy after work.” Mickey said.

Ian’s mood did not improve.  
__________

Mickey just finished his last shift with Ian and he wasn’t sure how to feel about it. On the one hand he had always liked being alone behind the bar and not having to deal with making awkward chit chat with the other employees. He just got drink orders and barely had to talk. He liked it that way and always had. But on the other, he had surprisingly not minded having Gallagher around. Sure, he talked a fucking lot, but Mickey kind of enjoyed listening to the redhead. It made him feel comfortable. Which is something he’s not really used to feeling with other people, other than Mandy. 

But Gallagher also made him feel a little nervous. He had noticed Gallagher watching him a couple times, with a weird look in his eyes, as if he had something to say. Mickey debated asking him to spit it out, but then thought it was better to just drop it. He didn’t need any more drama right now.

Him and Devon hadn’t spoken since Devon’s confession in the smoking area. Mickey felt like a dick, but he honestly just didn’t know how to deal with the situation. So he did what he did best and just fucking avoided it. One good thing that had come out of it was that when he told Mandy that him and Devon were done she had started speaking to him again. 

She had a late shift tonight so she said she’d text him when she was waiting outside and they could head home together, since he had told her that this time he didn’t want her coming into the club. He hated the way guys gawked at her. Even though it was a male strip club, there were still creeps around.

He was finishing putting the liquor bottles in the storage room when Ian stood in the doorway with a crate. The room was small so it was hard to get around people in there. Him and Gallagher did an awkward dance and they tried to side step each other and ended up mimicking each other’s movements. 

“Sorry.” Ian mumbled sheepishly. 

“Just get the fuck out the way, would ya?” Mickey said, impatiently, taking the crate of out Ian’s hands and placing it down for him. He ended up brushing past Ian to get through the door.

He paused for a moment; the heat that was radiating off the two of them being so close was electric. He felt himself wanting to lean in and get closer. He looked up at Ian, who was also making no rush to move, and saw that he was holding his breath and looking at him with a questioning gaze. Waiting to see what Mickey was about to do. 

Before Mickey could react, his phone buzzed in his pocket, him and Ian both practically jumped. Mickey moved away from Ian and pulled his phone out to see that he had a text from Mandy.

 **Mandy [2:37am]** : I’m out front dickhead.

Mickey sent Mandy a quick ‘K’, and looked back at Ian. Should he say goodbye? Good luck at dancing? Admit that he liked working with him and that he would probably miss his constant yapping? 

“Later, Gallagher.” Mickey said casually and walked out from behind the bar. He decided that saying any of those things to Gallagher would have been way too soft. He was going to see him again at work anyways, so why did he feel so empty at the thought of not having Ian close to him?

He quickly went to grab his coat from the back and walked out front of the club to see Mandy standing at the curb smoking a cigarette. He went over and quickly plucked it from her chipped black manicured hand.

“Dick.” She huffed, Mickey ignored her, taking a long drag. 

“What’s with you? You look more pissed than usual.” Mandy asked. 

Mickey rolled his eyes. How the fuck could Mandy pick up on everything. “Nothing. Long shift.” He lied. He wasn’t about to tell his sister that no longer being able to work side by side with Ian Gallagher was plaguing his thoughts. 

“Liar.” Mandy called him on it, narrowing her eyes at him. 

“Just drop it, okay?” Mickey grumbled, throwing the cigarette onto the ground. 

Mandy was looking at him pointedly, as if trying to search his face for answers, when suddenly her gazed moved to behind him.

“Hey Ian!” She shouted happily. _Great_ , Mickey thought.

“Oh, hey Mandy.” Mickey heard Ian say from behind him, he turned around to see him standing just across from them, having just come out of the club.

“How’s work going? Mickey’s training turning out to be just as useless as expected?” Mandy asked with a smirk. Mickey flipped her off. 

Ian gave a small laugh. “Nah, he’s been pretty good actually.” Ian let his eyes fall on Mickey now and Mickey glared back because they both knew that Mickey had taught him fuck all. So what was Gallagher referring to? “I’m actually just finishing my last bar back shift. I start dancing on Monday.”

“Wow that’s great! Congrats!” Mandy practically squealed. “We totally need to celebrate! What are you doing tonight?” 

Mickey’s eyes widened and he whipped his head around to stare at her. What the fuck was Mandy doing. 

“Um, I was supposed to out with a couple of the guys…” Ian said awkwardly, seeing Mickey’s reaction.

“Well fuck that, you should come out with me, Mickey and my friend Lissa from my community college. We’re going to this club called Mink. It’s open all night.” Mandy said excitedly. 

“We _are_?” Mickey asked through clenched teeth. 

“Yes. We are. And Ian is coming.” Mandy said, glaring back at Mickey as if telling him to not fuck this up.

“Oh…um, okay. I guess I’ll go tell the guys that I’m coming with you guys then?” Ian asked, looking to Mickey now expectantly. 

Mickey had both Mandy and Ian boring their eyes into him so he just shrugged. A huge grin broke out onto Ian’s face. 

“K, I’ll go tell them now.” He said smiling and went back into the club. 

Mickey spun onto Mandy now. “What the fuck, Mandy?!” 

She just snorted. “You’re welcome, asshole.” 

“Whatever, bitch.” Mickey said irritably. This was going to be an interesting night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who has read so far :) your kudos and comments mean the world  
> unfortunately I won't be able to post for the next two weeks :( I am going on vacation  
> but I promise I will update ASAP :)
> 
> love you all xx


	8. Never Have I Ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I never intended to take this long to update but I go to university in England when I live in Canada and I had to move all my shit back home half way across the world fml. Then I got super caught up with being home and work and I just really suck. Sorry guys. I promise not to take so long with the next chapter. I love you all for bearing with me <3

“Let’s just head back to ours really quick so I can change!” Mandy was saying excitedly.

The three of them were walking down the block, presumably towards Mickey and Mandy’s apartment. Ian was walking side by side with Mandy and Mickey was noticeably walking a bit behind them, smoking a cigarette and staring off at the street. Looking anywhere but at Ian. 

Ian was trying not to take it personally that Mickey hadn’t really said a word since Ian had emerged from the club. It wasn’t like Mickey’s silence was awkward since Mandy was eagerly chatting away with Ian, but he still noticed. 

“We live just up here!” Mandy announced.

“How long have you two lived here?” Ian asked curiously.

“Just a couple years, Mick and I moved out to get away from our douchebag da-“ 

“Mandy.” Mickey suddenly snapped warningly. 

Mandy flung her head around and gave him a dirty look. Ian looked between the two of them confusedly. 

“Well anyways, yeah, two years.” Mandy stated, no longer elaborating. 

Ian had heard the stories about Terry Milkovich, so he didn’t blame Mickey for not wanting to talk about him, but Ian still wished that Mickey felt comfortable enough with him to atleast let his dad be mentioned. 

They walked for about five more minutes, Mandy still happily chatting away and asking Ian questions about where he lived, how his family was doing and all that sort of stuff. She was just how he remembered her back in high school. He always liked Mandy. 

They arrived at a low-rise apartment building, it wasn’t the nicest, but Ian had definitely seen worse in the Southside. 

Mandy unlocked the door and they walked up in a couple flights of stairs until they reached a floor with about three doors. Mandy went to the one on the far left and allowed Ian to walk through. 

“Welcome to Casa Milkovich!” She said smiling throwing her arms wide. 

Ian walked in and took in the small, yet cozy, apartment. There were two doors on the far wall in front of him, a bathroom to his right and the kitchen and living room area to his left. It was nice. Ian liked it already. 

“Wow.” Ian said as Mickey pushed past him and into the kitchen to open the fridge and grab a beer. 

“Not the shithole you were expecting?” Mickey asked suddenly, taking a swig from the bottle. 

Ian opened his mouth to respond but Mandy cut him off. 

“Oh Mick, quit being in such a bitchy mood. We’re going to have fun tonight whether you like it or not!” She huffed with her hands on her hips. Ian couldn’t help but admire the way she didn’t take any of Mickey’s shit. 

“I’m going to change. Lissa will be here any second. Let her in for me.” Mandy said as she headed to the bedroom door on the left of the apartment. Ian let his eyes slide over to the closed bedroom door on the right, now knowing that it was Mickey’s room. He wondered if he’d ever get to see it. He certainly wanted to. 

“The fuck you staring at, Gallagher?” Mickey asked, snapping Ian out of his daze.

“Was just wondering what kind of creepy fetish you’re probably hiding in there.” Ian said, smirking. “I’m thinking like a wall of fluffy stuffed animals or something.”

Mickey sort of stared at him for a moment, then snorted and took another swig of beer. 

“You gonna offer me one or what?” Ian asked Mickey, staring at the beer in his hand.

“Geez, who knew you were so demanding.” Mickey said rolling his eyes and turning back to the fridge to grab Ian a beer. 

“You have no idea.” Ian said with a wink. He knew he was being flirty and probably making Mickey uncomfortable, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. It was now or never, right? 

Mickey gaped at him for a second and then jerkily handed him the beer. 

Ian popped the top off and took a long swig, making sure to show as much of his throat as possible and not taking his eyes off of Mickey’s. Mickey blue eyes were intensely staring at his bobbing Adam’s apple and Ian couldn’t help but feel satisfied that he had caught his attention. 

The air was thick with tension and Ian could feel the heat of Mickey’s stare prickling up the back of his neck. 

Mickey opened his mouth to finally say something but was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. Ian felt a sharp pang of disappointment that his alone time with Mickey was rather short lived. 

Mickey tore his eyes off Ian and headed over to the door to open it.

“Party’s here!” Ian heard a girl’s voice squeal. He turned to see a small girl with long blonde hair and dark brown eyes heavily covered with makeup waving around a bottle of vodka. She was wearing a short black skirt with a low cut top. Ian could definitely see why her and Mandy would be friends.

“Fuck Lissa, why you always gotta be so damn loud?” Mickey huffed, shutting the door behind her. 

“Oh Mick, fuck off. Why you always gotta be such a Debbie downer?” Lissa snapped right back. Ian liked her already. 

“Well you’re new!” She exclaimed, eyes now raking over Ian. Mickey glared pointedly at her.

“Yeah, hey, I’m Ian.” He walked over to her and held out his hand. “I work with Mickey and I used to go to high school with Mandy.” 

Lissa took his hand and held onto it for a moment too long. “Lissa.” She practically purred. “Mandy told me about you briefly, but she didn’t mention that you were fucking gorgeous.” 

Ian laughed at her forwardness. Mickey didn’t seem as amused.

“Lissa, why you gotta hit on everythin’ that walks?” Mickey said, walking in between their conjoined hands, breaking them apart so that he could walk back into the kitchen. 

Lissa raised her eyebrows at this, looking at Mickey’s back, but didn’t say anything. She then turned back to Ian and began batting her eyelashes.

“Sorry Ian, it’s just my way of being friendly.” She turned towards Mickey and narrowed her eyes. “Something Mick here has trouble understanding.” 

Mickey just flipped her off. 

“No worries at all.” Ian said smiling, mostly at the way Mickey was reacting to Lissa hitting on him. A small bubble of hope was forming in his stomach. 

“Where’s Mands at? I want to starting taking shots.”

“Her room. Probably putting on a fuck load of makeup and little clothing.” Mickey said with a snort. 

Mandy’s door suddenly swung open and she emerged, revealing what Mickey had just said to be right on point. 

“Oh brother dear, you know me so well.” Mandy said sweetly, but pointedly showed him the middle finger right after. Ian couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Mands!” Lissa squealed running over and embracing her. 

Both girls were now exchanging complements excitedly at each other’s choice in clothing and makeup. Ian looked back at Mickey who was looking borderline suicidal. 

“Jesus fuck, I’m going to have an aneurysm by the end of tonight if you bitches keep shrieking in such a high pitch tone.” Mickey said rubbing at his temples. 

Both girls stopped talking and glared at Mickey. 

“Why don’t we start drinking?” Ian suggested loudly before this escalated. 

“Great idea, Ian, I knew I liked you!” Lissa said happily, skipping into the kitchen to grab some glasses. 

“Let’s play Never Have I Ever!” Mandy said excitedly.

“Perfect!” Lissa replied back, leading Ian and Mickey into the living room area of the apartment to gather around the small coffee table. 

Ian sat down on the couch and was hoping Mickey would join him but was disappointed when Mickey opted for the chair beside it. Lissa was the one who plopped down beside him, practically half on top of him, her legs touching his. Mandy sat crossed legged on the floor. 

Ian looked over at Mickey curiously and noticed he was staring at the way Lissa’s legs were touching Ian’s. Ian couldn’t help but smirk. 

“Okay!” Lissa exclaimed as Mandy began pouring everyone a generous amount of vodka. “So. Here is how we play. Basically we go around in a circle and say something that we have never done before and if you have done it, then you gotta take a shot! Clear?” 

“Wait a shot?” Ian asked with wide eyes. He had played the game, but when he played he just took a sip of beer. 

“What, you pussying out, Gallagher?” Mickey asked challengingly. This started the competitive fire in Ian. 

“You wish.” Ian said glaring back. 

“Easy there, boys.” Lissa said giggling. “Also, feel free to be as dirty as you want. No boundaries.” She said with a bright smile, looking directly at Ian.

Ian swallowed nervously. Here we go.


	9. Pressure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was feeling super bad about not having updated in a long while and then only giving you guys a short chapter. So here is the longest chapter I have ever written and I wrote out the night and its events in their entirety. Enjoy ;) 
> 
> love you all xx please tell me what you think of it

The drunker Ian got the more he began to realize just how badly he wanted Mickey. He couldn’t really explain the feeling, it wasn’t as if they even really knew each other that well, but he felt like there was this tense attraction between them from the moment he laid eyes on him and he was instantly drawn in by it. 

They had already gone a couple rounds of Never Have I Ever, but anyone who has ever played the game knows that the first few rounds are always the tamest and once the alcohol starts doing its work and lowering people’s guards, that's when the real stuff comes out. 

It was in the back of Ian’s mind that no one here really knew he was gay and he was wondering if now would be the right time for that to come out. Never Have I Ever always had a way of drawing the truth out of people. 

“Never Have I Ever…um. Fuck I hate thinking of them!” Lissa exclaimed. “Okay. Never Have I Ever…had sex in a playground.” She giggled, directing her gaze towards Mandy.

“Oh you bitch.” Mandy huffed bemusedly before taking a shot. 

“This is definitely not best game to play with your sister.” Mickey groaned. 

Everyone laughed at that then looked towards Ian. It was his turn.

Ian thought for a moment. He was looking for a way to target Mickey without him knowing that he was targeting him. The prospect of getting Mickey drunk was too much to pass up. 

“Okay. Never Have I Ever…had to break up with someone that I work with.” He stated, making a point of not looking at Mickey. 

Lissa gave a small shrug and took a shot. Mickey sort of eyed Ian suspiciously before doing the same, Mandy just sat there with a smirk on her face.

It was Mickey’s turn.

“Never Have I Ever fucked someone on the couch of someone else’s apartment.” Mickey said with a smug look on his face and his eyes on Lissa.

“Oh fuck you, Mick! That was _one_ time!” Lissa said rolling her eyes and taking a shot. Ian and Mandy were both laughing. 

All eyes were on Mandy now. She looked between Ian and Mickey with a wicked smile on her face. Ian felt a pinch of nerves in his stomach. 

“Never Have I Ever wanted to fuck someone I work with.” She stated simply. Lissa took her shot easily. Ian sort of widened his eyes and froze. He quickly looked towards Mickey who was glaring at Mandy, who was still wearing her smug smile. 

Ian felt like he was watching the scene play out in slow motion. Mickey suddenly poured his shot and took it back with no hesitation. It made sense. Mickey was fucking Devon, so obviously that applied to him. But Ian couldn’t stop himself from wondering if maybe he fell under that category in Mickey’s mind as well. 

Ian was too caught up in his thoughts to realize that he hadn’t made a move yet. Mandy was boring her eyes into him intently and Mickey was subtlety, but not really, eying Ian out of the corner of his eye.

Ian quickly poured and tossed back the shot in one quick motion. Keeping his eyes on the floor. He knew this game was a bad idea. 

“Okay guys, I am now like 7 shots in, so this better be the last round!” Lissa said, breaking the silence, her speech was getting more and more slurred. “Otherwise, you’re all going to be carrying me home.”

Mandy and Mickey gave a nod and Ian felt a little relieved. He was at least 5 shots in and he was definitely feeling the buzz of the vodka. 

“Never Have I Ever…” Lissa began again. “Fallen in love.” She stated rather proudly. 

Mandy was the only one to take a shot. Mickey just huffed impatiently. 

Ian had mixed feelings about Mickey claiming to have never fallen in love. On the one hand he was happy because that meant him and Devon had not been that serious. On the other…what if Mickey wasn’t looking for that sort of thing. _Wait…am I even looking for that_? Ian pondered suddenly. He was so fucking confused. 

“Ian. It’s your go.” Mandy said, breaking him out of his thoughts.

“Right. Sorry. Okay, Never Have I Ever been with someone for longer than 6 months.” Ian told himself he came up with that randomly…but he also wanted to know just how long Mickey and Devon’s “arrangement” had been. 

“Define ‘been with’.” Mickey said unexpectedly. 

Ian blinked at him a couple times before saying, “Um…I guess, like, fucking them consistently?” He said unsurely. 

Mickey shrugged at this and took a shot. As did both Mandy and Lissa.

“Shit, you and Devon were fucking for 6 months?” Lissa asked drunkenly.

Mandy snapped her head towards Lissa so fast it looked like she could have whiplash.

“Lissa!” Mandy exclaimed with wide eyes. Ian was confused for a moment before he realized that he wasn’t supposed to know about Mickey and Devon. Or the fact that Mickey was even gay.

Ian looked at Mickey through the corner of his eye and saw that he was staring straight at Lissa, his expression unreadable.

“Fuck. Never mind.” Lissa muttered, looking at her feet. 

Ian thought about playing dumb and asking. But then he thought better of it. He simply looked at Mickey and said, “your turn.”

Mickey tore his eyes off of Lissa and turned his head slowly to look right at Ian, his gaze so intense it felt as if he was trying to reach into Ian’s mind and steal his thoughts. Ian was trying his best to keep his face as impassive as possible. 

“Never Have I Ever…” Mickey started, his eyes still boring into Ian’s, “given a fuck that one of my coworkers was gay.” 

Ian could feel his eyes widen and his mouth fall open slightly. Mickey just went there. He basically just told Ian he was gay. Mickey face was deadpan as he awaited Ian’s next move. 

Ian heard Mandy take in a sharp intake of breath. He kept his eyes locked onto Mickey’s icy blue ones and snapped his mouth shut. He poured a shot and took it back without a moment’s thought. 

“Right. Okay. I think that’s enough.” Mandy said as she began standing up. Mickey took his eyes off Ian to look at her. “I don’t know about you guys, but I am definitely drunk. And we should really get going anyways.” 

“R-Right. Totally.” Lissa agreed, she was clearly drunk as well and still feeling bad about exposing Mickey just moments before. 

Mickey didn’t say anything. He simply stood up, walked into the kitchen and grabbed the beer he had forgotten about earlier and guzzled it down. 

Ian was feeling dizzy. He wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or the way Mickey’s eyes were just burning into his head. Probably both. 

Lissa sprung off the couch, using Ian’s knee to push herself up. He looked up at her and she grinned back devilishly. Right. He had been so caught up in Mickey he had totally forgotten about Lissa’s not so subtle attempts to flirt with him. 

“Come on, Ian! We don’t have all night!” She exclaimed happily, grabbing his arm and practically dragging him upright off the couch, her previous embarrassment over the Mickey situation now forgotten. 

He laughed and let himself be dragged by her out the door, Mandy and Mickey followed closely behind, locking their apartment. 

The four of them walked down the busy street together. It was Saturday night and they were in one of the busiest nightlife sections of the Southside. Guys were wolf whistling at both Mandy and Lissa as they walked. The girls were no doubt loving the attention, meanwhile Mickey looked like he was going to smash each of the guys’ faces in. Ian couldn’t help but laugh at Mickey’s protective side. 

“The fuck you laughin’ at, Gallagher?” Mickey snapped as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up. 

“Nothing, just think it’s cute how protective of the two of them you are.” Ian said boldly, his slight buzz no doubt giving him the courage to do so. “Adorable, really.” He winked, snatching the cigarette out of Mickey’s hand and taking a long drag.

Mickey stared at him for a moment before smirking and looking towards the ground as they walked. Ian might have been imagining it, but he could’ve sworn he might of seen Mickey blushing just a little.

“Fuck off.” Mickey said, grabbing the cigarette back out of Ian’s hand.

Ian let out another laugh. 

They made it to the club in just less than 10 minutes. Mandy and Lissa were still ahead, chatting happily, while him and Mickey hung behind in comfortable silence. Ian hadn’t felt this at ease since before he left for the army four years ago. The alcohol was a part of that, but also the immediate calm that he felt whenever he was around Mickey, even in silence, he was happy.

The line into the club wasn’t too long. They got in fairly quickly. The music was loud and banging, the floor vibrating beneath them, much like it did at the Brassrail. 

“Let’s dance!” Mandy yelled over the music, grabbing both Lissa and Ian’s arms and dragging them into the crowd of people. 

Ian looked back and saw Mickey following hesitantly. Ian already knew Mickey was not the dancing type. 

Ian was distracted from Mickey by both Mandy and Lissa grinding their small bodies against him. He laughed at began moving his hips with theirs. Ian loved dancing, he really did. He also loved the fact that he would be able to show off his hip grinding skills in front of Mickey. 

Mandy was waving her hands around in the air wildly while Lissa was swinging her hips against both Mandy and Ian. 

Ian eyes went looking for Mickey. He found him standing a little off to the side of the dance floor behind them. He was biting his lip, and his eyes were raking over Ian. 

His eyes snapped up and locked with Ian’s. Ian smirked and began to roll his hips with Mandy and Lissa’s even harder. Mickey rubbed his thumb across his bottom lip and Ian felt his dick twitch. Lissa must have felt it too because she turned to look at him and gave him a wicked smile before wrapping her arms around his neck and swaying against him.

Mandy had moved off to the side a little and found a guy to dance with and was now proceeding to grind heavily against him.

Ian felt a little awkward being so close to Lissa. He could feel her hot breath on his neck as she nuzzled up against him and he couldn’t help but wish it were Mickey’s heat that he was feeling. 

With that thought in his mind he looked back towards where Mickey was standing and noticed he was no longer there. 

Ian tried to contain his disappointment as he turned back and continued dancing with Lissa.   
__________

Mickey needed a drink. Fast. He was still feeling the alcohol from the game earlier, but watching Ian dance was more than a little sobering. 

Mickey could feel his heart pounding with the music as he watched Ian move his hips with Mandy and Lissa. He knew he was definitely attracted to the guy, but tonight he felt a shift in the way he saw Ian. There was more than a few instances of smoldering eye contact that had Mickey’s pulse quickening every time. Which was ridiculous because this type of gay shit never got to Mickey before.

The alcohol had definitely played a part in Mickey basically coming out to Ian earlier, but he was also curious to see how Ian would react to it. He was hoping the game would reveal a few more things about Ian’s sexuality, which was still totally up in the air, but all it did was leave Mickey more confused than ever. 

He felt a connection with Ian, and the way Ian looked at him practically made it obvious that Ian had to be gay, but then he would act passively to Lissa’s obvious flirtations with him, and when he began grinding with Lissa Mickey was unsure all over again. 

Mickey didn’t really care that Ian now knew that there was something between him and Devon. He was kind of happy that it came out that way because it sort of put the ball in Ian’s court. _What the fuck am I saying_ , Mickey thought to himself, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He did not overthink like this over a guy. Ever. Why the fuck was he starting now. 

Mickey walked up to the bar and ordered straight jack and took it back quickly. Then began tapping his fingers on the bar top anxiously. He hated this. He hated feeling conflicted. Especially over a guy. 

“Well you got bored fast.” Mickey spun around upon hearing a voice in his ear that he immediately recognized and suddenly came face to face with Ian. 

Mickey smirked. “Don’t think anyone could get bored watching you three sluts dance.” 

Ian laughed. Mickey had to bite his lip to keep from smiling at the sound. “Right. Well it’s not nearly as fun without someone watching.” Ian said, his eyes twinkling. 

Mickey shifted nervously. Was Ian flirting with him? 

“Yeah well you won’t gotta worry about that, you’re practically a stripper in training now, remember?” 

“Mm. Yeah, you ain’t seen nothing yet.” Ian said, winking at him. Yup. This was definitely flirting. 

“Ha, okay tough guy. Want a drink?” Mickey asked, mostly because he wanted to keep Ian here as opposed to watching him go back to grinding with Lissa. 

“Sure. Shots? Or are you too much of a lightweight?” Ian asked smiling. 

“That a challenge?” Mickey asked with mock incredulity. 

“Only if you want it to be.” 

“A Gallagher thinking he can outdrink a Milkovich? That’s fuckin’ good.” Mickey said laughing.

“Well if your size is any indication…it won’t be too hard...” Ian said grinning widely. 

Mickey looked at him with his eyebrows raised. This kid had balls. 

“You’re gonna regret that when you’ll be needing me to drag your drunk ass off the floor.” 

Ian was now outright laughing. Mickey gave him a shove to the arm. It felt good letting loose with Ian like this. Really good.

Mickey got the bartender’s attention again. 

“Can we get 4 shots of Jack?” Mickey turned to Ian and raised an eyebrow smugly before adding, “each.” 

Ian looked down smiling. Mickey couldn’t tear his eyes off of him. 

The bartender quickly lined up their shots and Ian took out his wallet and threw down some cash. 

“On me.” He said, “Since I feel bad that I’m the reason you’ll be hungover as fuck tomorrow.”

Mickey snorted. “Speak for yourself, Firecrotch” 

“You know, I don’t think it’s right that you call me that when you don’t even have any proof to justify the name.” 

Mickey let out a laugh. He didn’t usually laugh this much around anyone. “That mop of fire red hair on the top of your head is all the proof I need.” 

“Alright. If that’s how you wanna settle it.” Ian said feigning disinterest.

Mickey narrowed his eyes at him questioningly. Was that meant to be some sort of invitation?

Ian was pretending not to notice Mickey’s curious glance and lifted one of his shot glasses, waiting for Mickey to do the same. 

They took back the first one in sync with one another. Then the second. Then the third…and then the fourth. This was going to get messy. 

Mickey couldn’t pin point the exact moment when it all began to get a little hazy. But he was definitely drunk. He also couldn’t pin point the exact moment when Ian got so close to him that their shoulders were brushing against one another. But he wasn’t complaining.

Ian broke the contact to turn and lean his side on the bar so that his body was now facing Mickey. Mickey was grateful that the music was so loud so that Ian wasn’t able to hear the involuntarily groan Mickey let out when he felt Ian pull away.

“I don’t care you know.” Ian said suddenly. Mickey must’ve looked confused because he then added, “about you and Devon.”

Mickey just gave a small nod and said, “okay”.

“Is it over though?” Ian asked, his words a little slurred.

“Yup.” Mickey said, popping the p, trying to be as casual as possible, still not looking at Ian.

“Good.”

Mickey turned his head at that and saw Ian staring at him intensely. There was a raw tension building between the two of them. It was practically palpable. Mickey was feeling completely unsure of everything, except the fact that all he wanted to do right now was lean forward and press his lips onto Ian’s. 

Feeling the liquid courage and the burn in his stomach from a mixture of alcohol and desire he turned his body to face Ian. He didn’t break their eye contact as he leaned forward slightly, fully prepared to take a huge risk. 

Ian’s eyes began to slowly close, and Mickey could feel his body leaning in as well. This was really happening. 

“There you two are!” Lissa’s voice practically shattered Mickey and Ian’s wall, “I have been looking everywhere for you two assholes!” 

Mickey whipped his body back so fast he almost fell backwards. Ian swayed a little and looked completely dazed. 

“Mandy totally ditched me for some dude and I was basically dancing alone.” She huffed in annoyance. Totally unaware of what she just interrupted. Although Mickey wasn’t exactly sure of what she had just interrupted either. 

“Holy shit, you two look completely fucked. Your faces are both beat red!” She laughed. 

Mickey wasn’t so sure that was because of the alcohol.

“Am I talking to myself here, or what?!” She asked loudly. 

“Okay Lis, we get it, Mandy’s off being a whore.” Mickey said after finally finding his voice. “What do you want us to do about it?”

“I want you to buy me a drink, asshole.” She said, pushing herself between Mickey and Ian and leaning her elbows onto the bar. Ian leaned an elbow down on the bar as well and used it to support his head. Mickey couldn’t help but notice that Ian looked a little annoyed. 

“Can we go soon, by the way?” Lissa asked to no one in particular. “I’m bored of dancing.” 

“Sure, whatever.” Mickey replied, holding his hand out to get the bartender’s attention. He ordered three vodka sodas. 

Lissa kept chattering on and on about random shit and the night’s events. Mickey was only pretending to listen, because what he was really doing what sneaking sideways glances at Ian who was facing the bar staring straight ahead at the wall and mindlessly sipping at his drink, an unreadable expression on his face. He hadn’t said a word since Lissa came and broke apart him and Mickey and whatever the fuck they were about to do. 

“Oh man, Ian is so drunk.” Lissa whispered to Mickey, giggling. “We should probably take him home now.” 

Mickey nodded in agreement. He wanted to go anyways.

Lissa swung one arm around Ian and the other around Mickey and the three of them walked out drunkenly into the crowd to find Mandy.  
__________

Ian was finding it extremely hard to hide his irritation. He felt an overwhelming urge to hit something. He had come this close to kissing Mickey. Atleast, he thinks that was where it was going. And then Lissa had to come and ruin it. 

Standing there and talking with Mickey had felt like the best thing in the world. Ian didn’t want it to end. Unless it ended with Mickey’s lips pressed against his. Which was where he was hoping it was going to go. But now he would never know. And that pissed him off beyond belief. 

He felt like he had lost the opportunity and it pained him to think about how he may never get it again. The chance to get drunk with Mickey. The chance to talk with Mickey. The chance to kiss Mickey. It was all right in front of him. He had it. And now it was gone. 

Ian just wanted to go home and wallow. He thanked god that tomorrow was Sunday and he could just lie in bed all day and mope as he replayed what could have been with Mickey over and over in his head.

They finally found Mandy. Her face glued to some random guy. Lissa pushed herself in the middle of them. She was great at that apparently. And let Mandy know that they were leaving. She gave them a drunken look, whispered something to the random guy and he nodded eagerly and then him and Mandy followed the three of them out. 

Mandy hung back with the guy that she was obviously taking back to their place as Ian continued walking down the street with Mickey and Lissa. 

“I guess I should just head back to mine from here.” Ian said.

“Aw! Really? Just come back to the apartment and hang out for a bit!” Lissa said, sticking out her bottom lip in a pout. Ian thought about it for a moment. He looked up at Mickey, who was busy lighting a cigarette. 

“That cool with you?” He asked Mickey. Trying to keep the eagerness out of his voice. 

“Yeah, man. ‘Course.” Mickey said with a shrug, letting out a cloud of smoke. Ian felt himself immediately perk up, a smile tugging at his lips. 

They got back to the apartment rather quickly. Mandy and her guy immediately went to her room and shut the door. Mickey practically gagged at the sight of it. 

Lissa jumped down on the couch. “Mick, can you pull out the couch? I can’t be bothered to drag my ass home tonight, and Mandy’s bed is clearly going to be occupied.” 

“Yeah sure, just invite yourself to stay, whatever.” Mickey said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. 

“Thanks babe.” She said with a wink, getting up so that Mickey could move the couch cushions to pull out the bed, glaring at her as he did.

Ian went to the kitchen to help himself to a glass of water. He figured that was probably a smart idea considering the amount of alcohol he consumed tonight. 

Lissa went over to a sort of supply closet that was in the living room and pulled out some blankets and pillows and tossed them onto the now pulled out bed. 

Mickey grabbed the TV remote and began flicking through channels aimlessly as he sat on the end of the bed. 

“Ian, come sit.” Lissa said, as she jumped onto the bed snuggling up into a blanket. 

Ian felt a little awkward. But he didn’t want to leave just yet. So he made his way over and sat down on the opposite end of the bed from Mickey. Lissa, once again, in the middle. 

They sat in somewhat silence that was only broken when Lissa was making comments about whatever show they were watching on TV and Mickey just giving small grunts in response. 

Ian doesn’t know how much time passed but suddenly Lissa was no longer speaking. He looked back and noticed she was now lying down wrapped in the blanket with her eyes shut and her breathing steady. She was asleep.

Ian wasn’t really sure what to do now. Should he get up and leave? 

All of a sudden Mickey stood up from the bed and walked into his room.

_Okay…goodnight then_ , Ian thought. He guessed that was Mickey's way of hinting that he was supposed to leave. He got up and was making sure he had all his shit when Mickey suddenly reemerged from his room and made his way back over to Ian. Ian looked at him questioningly when Mickey suddenly threw a plastic bag at him.

Ian had quick reflexes, so he caught it and looked down at it. It was a bag of weed. 

“I have a fire escape out my bedroom window.” Mickey said and turned on his foot and began walking back to his room. He turned when he realized Ian wasn’t following him. 

“You comin’ or what Gallagher?” He asked impatiently. 

Ian snapped his head up and followed Mickey into the bedroom, trying to ignore the excitement building in his chest. 

Mickey’s room was just like Ian imagined it would be. Simple. There was a large bed with a dark comforter, a old looking dresser and a night table. The walls were an off white colour. There were random clothes strewn about and it smelt like cigarettes and a hint of Mickey’s cologne. The smell was making Ian feel his buzz again. He felt drunk off of Mickey. 

Mickey grabbed something from the top of his dresser and led Ian out to the fire escape, which was out the window on the left of his room. Ian climbed out after Mickey and could hear cars and sirens in the distance. It was illuminated by the dimly lit streetlights below. The setting was almost a romantic.

Ian took a seat next to Mickey on the step of the cold metal stairs and Mickey began to skillfully roll a joint. Ian couldn’t help but feel a little turned on at the way Mickey licked his lips and slid his tongue slid across the paper. 

Mickey lit the joint and took a long hit before passing it to Ian. Ian made a point to brush his fingers against Mickey’s rough ones before taking it. He let the smoke fill his lungs and welcomed the burn of the weed before letting out the smoke. He felt his nerves of being out here alone with Mickey settle a little. 

They sat there smoking the joint in silence for what seemed like hours and pretty soon the sun was rising. 

“I always liked the sunrise.” Ian said randomly, staring off into the distance. He was definitely feeling the high.

“Mm.” Mickey replied, the joint still in his mouth. Ian noticed his eyes were half lidded and glassy. 

Ian wasn’t sure if it was the high, his slight lingering drunkenness or just being in the presence of Mickey, but he could never remember a time where he felt so happy. He felt as if he could stay like this forever. Watching the sunrise with Mickey. 

“So. Who outdrank who tonight?” Mickey asked, tossing the finished joint over the railing.

“Hmm. Close call. But I think I might’ve pulled ahead just a little bit.” Ian said confidently. 

“Who are you trying to fuckin' kid. You were practically stumbling out the door by the end of it.” Mickey said with a laugh. “Couldn’t even fuckin’ talk.”

“Me being drunk had nothing to do with me not talking.” Ian stated calmly. 

“Oh yeah? Then what was your deal, Gallagher?” Mickey asked, turning to face Ian now. 

Ian gave a small shrug. “Dunno. Guess I was a little pissed off.” 

“About?” Mickey asked impatiently, now raising an eyebrow at Ian and leaning in a little bit. 

Ian stopped to think for a second. He felt the raw tension from earlier begin to make its way between them again. Except this time there was no Lissa to break them away from it. Ian decided that he needed to take advantage of this moment, not wanting to miss another opportunity.

“That I didn’t get to do this.” Ian said as he leaned over and gently cupped Mickey’s chin in his hand, and closed the gap between them by pressing their lips together.

Ian felt extremely light headed. Almost as if he was floating and the only thing grounding him was the feel of Mickey’s lips on his. At first Mickey didn’t respond to the kiss. Simply remained frozen. But then he began to return the pressure and was moving his lips against Ian now with force. Ian’s hand was still cradling Mickey’s chin and Mickey raised his hand up to cuff the back of Ian’s neck and pull him in closer, making the kiss harder. 

Kissing Mickey was the best feeling that Ian has ever felt. Now that he had gotten to do it he never wanted to stop. He didn’t want to ever pull away, but just stay like this for as long as he could. It was an amazing feeling and Ian has never wanted something as much as he wanted Mickey. He felt such strong desire and an undeniable pull towards the blue-eyed boy that could not be ignored any longer. 

They continued on kissing. There was no tongue or teeth; just the two of them lazily moving their lips together, still feeling dazed from the weed. It was gentle and soft. 

Mickey finally broke the kiss and pulled his head back to look at Ian with a wide eyed gaze. His eyes were moving rapidly across Ian’s face in what seemed like confusion and his mouth hanging slightly open as he tried to catch his breath. 

Ian just continued to stare back at Mickey and resist bringing their lips back together for the second time. 

Mickey then stood up abruptly and cleared his throat. 

“I-I uh…I should get to um…bed.” Mickey stuttered out, looking a little panicked.

Doubt was seeping its way into Ian’s previously blissful state. Had he done something wrong? Did Mickey not want him to kiss him? 

“Okay…” Ian said slowly and unsurely. Their sexual tension was now quickly turning into awkwardness. 

Mickey climbed through the window back into his room and Ian followed closely behind him.

Once they were back in Mickey’s room Mickey walked over to his dresser and began rummaging through his drawers, seemingly looking everywhere but at Ian.

“I guess I’m gonna go then…” Ian said, waiting for some sort of response from Mickey. “…Good night?” 

“Yeah man, good night. See ya.” Mickey replied quickly. Still looking through his drawers.

Ian walked over to Mickey’s bedroom door and opened it. He leaned on it for a couple seconds hesitantly just to see if Mickey was going to look up at him. He didn’t. 

Ian walked out of the room and shut the door behind him then leaned against it and let out a long sigh. What the fuck just happened?   
__________

Mickey’s thoughts were spinning out of control. What the fuck just happened? Did he really just kiss Gallagher? Mickey doesn’t kiss. Mickey hasn’t kissed. This was seriously fucked up. 

He doesn’t even know why he did it. Why did he kiss back? Why didn’t he just shove him off like he did every other guy who has ever tried to kiss him? _Because I I actually wanted to kiss him…_ he thought. This has never happened before. He has never in his entire life wanted to kiss a guy. Or anyone for that matter. 

Mickey stopped pretending to look for shit in his drawers. He had just needed to do something. Anything. Anything but look at Gallagher. He stripped down to his boxers and hopped into his bed and under his comforter. 

He could hear his heartbeat drumming loudly on his pillow. He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a frustrated sigh willing sleep to come. The only thing he could focus on was the pressure left on his lips from where Gallagher had pressed his own against them.


End file.
